If you want to make a good impression with a Keithly, one sure-fire way to do this is to say something positive about this large, gentle, hilarious individual.
Of all the non-Keithlys in this world, the one that is most universally loved by Keithlys is easily McCabe. McCabe met one of the Keithlys several years ago because the two were on the same football team. 5 years and 240 lbs later, he has grown to be a favorite visitor of the Keithly house. In fact, he is so loved that there was even a rumor at one time that he would be allowed to reside there. Given the clan’s experience with non-Keithly tenants, that is proof alone of McCabe’s special relationship with them. However, according to the rumor he would also be required to have a job for some nominal amount of time, and for that reason most experts agree that even if this rumor is true, it will never materialize.
The three most striking features of this individual are 1) his love for life, 2) his girth and 3) his disproportionately petite girlfriend. It is precisely this combination that makes him a vital part of Keithly fun.
Some interesting facts about McCabe include the following:
1) He is incapable of having a bowel movement on any toilet other than his own
2) He drives a vintage Nova
3) He has been able to delay working, and current projections are that he will be able to do this until about 2030
4) He will do just about anything a Keithly tells him to do, but only for a while
5) He is so sturdy that, according to a legend, a full-grown Keithly male once ran at him with all his might, crashed into him, and fell to the floor in pain
6) He is an connoisseur of Hooka
7) He has every episode of “Scrubs” memorized—in fact, he considers the climax of his life to have been the day he gave Zach Braff a high five, and sees no reason to attempt to outdo that experience
8) It takes at least a case of beer to dilute his blood-alcohol count enough to get a DUI
Of all the non-Keithlys in this world, the one that is most universally loved by Keithlys is easily McCabe. McCabe met one of the Keithlys several years ago because the two were on the same football team. 5 years and 240 lbs later, he has grown to be a favorite visitor of the Keithly house. In fact, he is so loved that there was even a rumor at one time that he would be allowed to reside there. Given the clan’s experience with non-Keithly tenants, that is proof alone of McCabe’s special relationship with them. However, according to the rumor he would also be required to have a job for some nominal amount of time, and for that reason most experts agree that even if this rumor is true, it will never materialize.
The three most striking features of this individual are 1) his love for life, 2) his girth and 3) his disproportionately petite girlfriend. It is precisely this combination that makes him a vital part of Keithly fun.
Some interesting facts about McCabe include the following:
1) He is incapable of having a bowel movement on any toilet other than his own
2) He drives a vintage Nova
3) He has been able to delay working, and current projections are that he will be able to do this until about 2030
4) He will do just about anything a Keithly tells him to do, but only for a while
5) He is so sturdy that, according to a legend, a full-grown Keithly male once ran at him with all his might, crashed into him, and fell to the floor in pain
6) He is an connoisseur of Hooka
7) He has every episode of “Scrubs” memorized—in fact, he considers the climax of his life to have been the day he gave Zach Braff a high five, and sees no reason to attempt to outdo that experience
8) It takes at least a case of beer to dilute his blood-alcohol count enough to get a DUI
1) He is incapable of having a bowel movement on any toilet other than his own
ReplyDelete- True sometimes
2) He drives a vintage Nova
- Vintage?...hmm
5) He is so sturdy that, according to a legend, a full-grown Keithly male once ran at him with all his might, crashed into him, and fell to the floor in pain
- its no legend...its the truf