#31 Dumping their Fiancee

It is a universally observed part of the mating process for a Keithly man to dump his fiancée at least one time before marrying. This is said to be a spiritual process whereby the Keithly slowly comes to terms with monogamy. This process has been known to repeat itself up to three times before a Keithly settles on a permanent mate. In fact, one Keithly got engaged so many times that a jeweler set up a shop next door to the Keithly house [citation needed].

If your engagement to a Keithly was cancelled as part of this brutal ceremony, you do not have to lose hope. History points to many examples of Keithlys calling off the engagement only to marry that same person only months later. However, if more than a year has passed, the chances of this happening are greatly reduced and you are advised to move on.

While there is no consensus among experts as to the origin of this ritual, the earliest recorded occurrence was in 1971. The man who is currently Chief* of the clan, had already been engaged two times when he met and proposed to the woman he would eventually marry. One night at Knotts Berry Farm, he cancelled this third engagement, only to retract the cancellation days later.

*Chief: (n) in Keithly lore, the alpha male of the clan; the chief must always wear a blue robe, and protect Keithly property by sleeping in a chair while watching Charlie Rose and warding off invaders with a hose. Chiefs are known for being very frugal with their money and removing walls from their houses.