Keithlys come in all shapes and sizes. From middle aged ex-wrestlers to thin minors who date returned missionaries against their parents’ will, from Arab/Hispanic/Mediterranean lookalikes to potential underwear models, it is safe to say they are not a physically monolithic group. That is, from the knees up and from the ankles down. In that small gap commonly referred to as calves, however, all Keithlys look basically alike.
Keithly calves, without exception, have the following characteristics: firm, well-defined, and lean. No matter how much weight a Keithly puts on, his/her calves remain intact as the most attractive physical feature. As non-Keithlys will confirm, they are the birthright of a Keithly. In fact, some Keithly spouses have admitted that one of the driving factors behind their decision to join the clan was the high likelihood that their children will have Keithly calves.
There is no consensus among experts regarding the evolutionary origin of the calves. Some have suggested that, being mostly of average height, and resentfully so, Keithlys have walked on tippy toes for generations to compensate. Others have hypothesized that centuries ago in England, the landscape being different, the only food available some times of the year was found on very high fruit trees, so the Keithlys with the most calf stamina were able to pick more fruit, gain a more prominent place in the village and therefore mate with more of the women. Whatever the reason, calves remain a vital part of being a Keithly.
Keithly calves, without exception, have the following characteristics: firm, well-defined, and lean. No matter how much weight a Keithly puts on, his/her calves remain intact as the most attractive physical feature. As non-Keithlys will confirm, they are the birthright of a Keithly. In fact, some Keithly spouses have admitted that one of the driving factors behind their decision to join the clan was the high likelihood that their children will have Keithly calves.
There is no consensus among experts regarding the evolutionary origin of the calves. Some have suggested that, being mostly of average height, and resentfully so, Keithlys have walked on tippy toes for generations to compensate. Others have hypothesized that centuries ago in England, the landscape being different, the only food available some times of the year was found on very high fruit trees, so the Keithlys with the most calf stamina were able to pick more fruit, gain a more prominent place in the village and therefore mate with more of the women. Whatever the reason, calves remain a vital part of being a Keithly.
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